Why Fear is A Good Thing

All my possessions are fitted into boxes and stored away on a farm. I have moved out of my apartment. I am in the visa procedure. I’m organizing my goodbye party…Moving to Los Angeles is not a plan anymore, it’s becoming more real every day. And for some reason my excitement is overshadowed by something. I mean, I

have no doubts about going. I’m happy to leave my job behind, I’m happy to go somewhere sunny and I’m ecstatic that I will finally get to work on my dream and don’t have to carry that rushed, uneasy feeling that I’m not where I should be every day.

About Fear
But big changes are scary, the unknown is scary. And although taking this big step is my own choice, I too find it scary. I will have to leave behind things I’ve become used to and value, like my social life and riding my bike near the canals of Amsterdam. I will have to miss my family, my boyfriend, my friends… Thinking about saying goodbye to them at the airport just makes me want to run away from it all. The last months I have been in a bubble of stress and fear. But one of my friends, The To, said this beautiful thing the other day. Or Skypetyped it rather:

If you’re stressed and scared it’s a sign that you’re doing something new, going somewhere…

And I hope I won’t sound too much like a I-have-achieved-Zen-and-you-should-too self-help book writer, but I think that’s an important thing to remember. You can’t achieve anything by staying in the comfort zone. Every time you will broaden your horizon it will feel scary at first. And it will probably be stressful arranging it. But it’s okay. I heard this inspiring metaphor at an introduction of Anthony Meindl’s acting school once: it’s a sign that you’re moving forward and stepping out of this circle in which everything has become automatic.

Between Luck & Hard Work
I’ve noticed that a part of the feedback I get from people is that I’m so lucky and that they wish they could move to Los Angeles too. Even people from the US of A tell (tweet) me this. Now, I am lucky, very much so. I’m lucky that I was born in a loving, middle class family with a decent brain and healthy body and in a country where I can at least get a job, even if it’s below my level of education. I’m not in between civil wars in the Ivory Coast, nor oppressed by a men-ruled society in Afghanistan. I have opportunities.

But that doesn’t mean I didn’t have to work for it. That it’s been easy. I had to work full-time for a year just to be able to finance the largest part of my move, the visa procedure has been (and still is) a hell and the application for the college has been a tremendous amount of work.

But if I can do it, why can’t someone else who really wants it do it? Of course it will require far more work for some than for others. Some are born as Kate Hudson and some are born in poverty in a tumultuous country without ever knowing their exact birth date. It’s not a fair world. But most of us fall somewhere in the middle, and most of us can actually do it.

So what is it that keeps some back? Fear? Being afraid to step out of the circle? Being afraid of rejection? What are your experiences?

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10 Comments

Filed under Amsterdam

10 responses to “Why Fear is A Good Thing

  1. Chris

    This is a beautiful blog post. 🙂
    Good luck, have fun in LA, and please keep blogging 😀

  2. Anna

    Following your lifelines (very often against the opinion of your relatives and friends) is always scary but the scariest thing is to regret that you’ve lived somebody’s else life………You’re so beautiful and strong in what you are doing!!! and i must say that all what was done deserves great luck!!! so that is my wish to you!

  3. You have the attitude to succeed. It’s called JOY.
    Hope I can meet you in L.A. once you get settled! You’re enthusiasm has inspired me.

  4. Mahzizzle

    You deserve welcome to LA party. Don’t be afraid, once you realize you’re really in LA the fear will fade away. My one advice to you: Don’t lose focus. Its so easy to go off track. I have a lot of “actor” friends who lost track and got carried away with all the awesome parties that are thrown every night of the week. Welcome to LA.

  5. Finally, some credit for at least one of the many wisdoms I’ve dished out at ya over the years. 😛

    All I can say is that I’m proud of you for even sticking it out this far. That’s the kind of tenacity you’re gonna need in LaLaLand. Just stay focused, and you’ll do fine, no matter WHAT happens.

    So now that I’m in A’dam, you better make some time and take me out for a burger or something. Today is good. I have no big plans and the weather sucks. 🙂

  6. Hola bonita! I really like your posts, good news that you are getting closer and closer to living your dream! Good luck in L.A. and keep us posted!
    Un beso grande desde España

  7. I never thought of it that way, well put!

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