have no doubts about going. I’m happy to leave my job behind, I’m happy to go somewhere sunny and I’m ecstatic that I will finally get to work on my dream and don’t have to carry that rushed, uneasy feeling that I’m not where I should be every day.
But big changes are scary, the unknown is scary. And although taking this big step is my own choice, I too find it scary. I will have to leave behind things I’ve become used to and value, like my social life and riding my bike near the canals of Amsterdam. I will have to miss my family, my boyfriend, my friends… Thinking about saying goodbye to them at the airport just makes me want to run away from it all. The last months I have been in a bubble of stress and fear. But one of my friends, The To, said this beautiful thing the other day. Or Skypetyped it rather:
If you’re stressed and scared it’s a sign that you’re doing something new, going somewhere…
And I hope I won’t sound too much like a I-have-achieved-Zen-and-you-should-too self-help book writer, but I think that’s an important thing to remember. You can’t achieve anything by staying in the comfort zone. Every time you will broaden your horizon it will feel scary at first. And it will probably be stressful arranging it. But it’s okay. I heard this inspiring metaphor at an introduction of Anthony Meindl’s acting school once: it’s a sign that you’re moving forward and stepping out of this circle in which everything has become automatic.
Between Luck & Hard Work
I’ve noticed that a part of the feedback I get from people is that I’m so lucky and that they wish they could move to Los Angeles too. Even people from the US of A tell (tweet) me this. Now, I am lucky, very much so. I’m lucky that I was born in a loving, middle class family with a decent brain and healthy body and in a country where I can at least get a job, even if it’s below my level of education. I’m not in between civil wars in the Ivory Coast, nor oppressed by a men-ruled society in Afghanistan. I have opportunities.
But that doesn’t mean I didn’t have to work for it. That it’s been easy. I had to work full-time for a year just to be able to finance the largest part of my move, the visa procedure has been (and still is) a hell and the application for the college has been a tremendous amount of work.
But if I can do it, why can’t someone else who really wants it do it? Of course it will require far more work for some than for others. Some are born as Kate Hudson and some are born in poverty in a tumultuous country without ever knowing their exact birth date. It’s not a fair world. But most of us fall somewhere in the middle, and most of us can actually do it.
So what is it that keeps some back? Fear? Being afraid to step out of the circle? Being afraid of rejection? What are your experiences?
Like this blog? Please show some love by spreading the word and tweeting or Facebooking about it! You can also subscribe by entering you e-mail address and clicking on the I Want To Follow button in the upper right corner!