The last few days have been, to say the least, terrible. My boyfriend left this morning, there’s no sunshine in LA today and worst of all: The O1 visa plan fell through.
When I got here I didn’t expect to find an agent, and even less to find a way to a work visa. A couple of months ago I was even making peace with having to return to the Netherlands again. I was preparing for it. But then, when I found a lawyer that was confident I could get an O1 visa, and an agent that was willing to sponsor me, I was in the clouds. I felt so close to starting my dream…
And now that’s all gone and I have suddenly only a month left in the City of Angels. Of course I’m going to try to find another agent that’s willing to sponsor me, I have everything in place after all, it’s the last thing I need. But a month is a not a realistic timeframe to find an agent. Especially an agent that’s willing to sponsor a foreign actress. So most likely, somewhere half February, I’ll return to the Netherlands.
I wish I could turn this into something positive, but right now I just can’t. I’ll be happy to see my family, friends, boyfriend and home country again but I’ve just gone from 100 to zero and it’s a big, big fall. And I don’t have anything in Netherlands anymore. No house, no job, no future plan.
But I won’t be turned bitter by this silly town. Just temporarily sad. Who knows, I might move to London and see what the acting industry is about there. Or maybe for once I’ll be a lucky bastard, and get enough high votes to win that role in the Dutch TV show.
If there’s one thing I learned it’s that I can’t make plans for the future. I spent many an hour stressing about leaving Holland behind for good and going here on a work visa. Or deciding if I should go back to Holland before returning with an O1 visa. And before that I spent hours making plans for going back to Holland. I’m just going to live by the day now. The acting business isn’t a business to make plans in. You just go with the flow, no matter the highs and lows.
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