15 Seconds of Fame

The last few weeks have been interesting and great in many ways. For the first time in my life, I got a real taste of what life as a working actress is like. Being on set three weeks in a row, recording songs, rehearsing, working with call sheets, wondering about ratings…And, because of the format of the TV show – where winners of roles get some publicity- I got a tiny little taste of fame too.

All these experiences have brought some important insights to me. And some quite unexpected ones…

Of course, it all has been one big confirmation of that I really, really do want to be an actress and that this really, really is what makes me happy. Although happy is a fuzzy term. I actually don’t think happiness is a long term feeling, I think it’s just a fleeting moment of maybe five seconds where your heart wells up about something small and random. Like the prospect of eating a Ferrero Rocher. What it has made me mostly is content. It gives me peace of mind, and erases the rushed I-have-to-achieve-something-soon feeling. It gives me the feeling that I’m making most of every day.

And it has brought so much more than that. I’ve gotten sweet messages from people that were my neighbors four years ago or from primary school friends that say they’ve voted or seen the episode. Oh, and my mom has gotten congratulatory texts from old acquaintances, since she has my old phone number. It’s all been really heartwarming. Mostly, my family and friends are starting to get a little bit of faith in me, despite a lack of succes in the past. They see how happy it is making me, and that I’m not just pursuing an empty dream of fame and fortune.

Because the show has given me my 15 seconds of fame, and it’s brought some surprising insights. Of course I’m in acting because I love, love, love it, and can’t do without it. But that’s not to say that designer gowns, goodie bags, giving interviews and award ceremonies don’t appeal to me. Fame was never the goal, but it always did seem to have exciting aspects. I even sometimes pretended to be on the Jimmy Kimmel Show while home alone. I’m told many people do this and it’s not weird! Anyway, for the TV show Who’s in Who’s Out I got a little taste of fame. I got interviewed, had to do a photo shoot and was asked questions and asked for photos by fans of the show.

Now the surprising thing to me was that I didn’t enjoy that part as much as expected. I mean the interviews. The fans were adorable. But I felt quite uncomfortable giving the interviews. Like I was giving away something of myself. Some precious, private thing. I know it sounds terribly dramatic, and I know I never understood it either when some actors claimed to not like interviews. But it’s like you live your life going through some tough things and you grow and these things make you who you are and then you give it away. I don’t know. I just used to think I would really enjoy doing interviews but it feels quite dirty!

However, the important point is that I am extremely happy to be where I am right now and that I hope to be doing much more fun projects like this. Regardless of what happens in the future, it will at least make the O1 visa request much easier. Now all I need is an agent. For that, stay tuned!
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14 Comments

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14 responses to “15 Seconds of Fame

  1. Yoeri

    ” I actually donโ€™t think happiness is a long term feeling, I think itโ€™s just a fleeting moment of maybe five seconds where your heart wells up about something small and random. ”

    Very true! Anyhow je was geweldig Shanice! x

  2. Geert Gielissen

    Je doet ‘t prima Shanice en ik denk dat je nog wel enige tijd zult blijven! Je leert er ook nog eens heel veel van, want het is een goed gemaakte show met verrassingselementen erin. En het verveelt geen moment en je past er prima bij. Dus toi toi en zet ‘m op he!

  3. Venus

    While just having succeeded in doing my first headstand (far from perfect, but I did it) and driving home on my bike with a gigantic smile on my face feeling happy and thankful, reading your post about how acting makes you feel so content simply added to the whole feeling of ‘happiness’ and ‘contentment’. It’s these moments that lift you up and give fuel to go on.
    Anyway, cool to read you’re doing so great, ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Hi, Starsineyes, you are awesome. Your posts made me stop hiding what my real dream is,and tomorrow i’m going on my first casting for a movie. I’m so excited. I know that i may not really have big chance to get any part cause it’s gonna be a fierce competition (it’s a famous director in my country),but u taught me to think that it’s better to try than sit home and daydream (Don’t rule No2 if i’m not mistaken ๐Ÿ˜‰ ). So,do you maybe have some advice for me? ๐Ÿ˜€

  5. Ben

    This is awesome news, I’m glad you’ve learned first hand it’s not about fame. I enjoy reading your blog a lot, I’ve also watched your show real, and I hope your jobs and prospects will be plentiful and challenge you more ๐Ÿ™‚ Remember to always push yourself.
    Believing is being. Always remember the objective, the want and best of luck ๐Ÿ™‚
    – Ben

  6. Nice to hear you are coming closer to your dreams. Stay focused, have fun and believe. ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. Anna

    Seems that you’ve already shifted to the upper “closer to your dream” level and i am really so much happy for you!!!!! in 99% of cases things turn to be different to what we were imagining, they may be better or worse, but different. All the best luck for you Girl!

  8. Lilo

    Hi girl,

    I voted for you sice I have been following your magnificent blog for many months! In fact, I am an actress from France and it is not easy! I am also thinking about moving to L.A. and you inspired me so much! Life can change in an eye glimpse and I am so excited about the future. I just found an agent and I am crossing fingers for the two of us! May you find your perfect agent and O1 visa and may I find acting roles and the courage to write my script!

    So has the Dutch gig brought you opportunities?
    Cograts anyway, you rock!

    Lots of good vibes!

  9. Hi! I’m a new follower of your blog.. I think it’s great that you actually took the leap and moved all the way to LA! Moving to Kuala Lumpur from Sabah was a big enough challenge for me, let alone moving to another country.. =) I wasnt pursuing acting per se, as I was more into the modelling (funny story that, since I’m only 5′ 0″! ;p) But I did get the chance to be an extra a few times in various dramas/movies, and it’s tremendous fun, though the very long hours arent! =) Please continue pursuing your dreams, cz with an attitude like yours, all I see for your future is bright lights! =D

    xxx,
    Calista Leah Liew

  10. Jakob

    Hi,

    my reply is not related to this particular post but since I found your blog a couple of hours ago and have read the whole thing by now:P I have one question: have you also considered working for example for a big studio (like Universal or Warner) as a production assistant, assistant director, assistant production designer or anything like this? This would give you an opportunity to see and work in the ‘industry’ (which you would like to work in as an artist) actually in action. This could also give you experience and new opportunities (contacts etc.) for your pursuits as an actress.
    Just interested in how you see your future in the long run.

    Best of luck!

    Jakob (I’m currently studying American Studies in Nijmegen and planning on moving to the US (I have family living in California so getting a visa will be somewhat easier) to work as a producer (/assistant producer) and in the long run as a film director (assistant director).

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