Gypsy on TV

Well, guess what? I won the voting competition and am still in the TV show Who’s in Who’s Out! So thanks to everyone that voted, I’m still in acting heaven, filming episodes every Saturday till Monday! I really didn’t expect to win, since my competition was a talented stud with a large group of infatuated girls as fans. But I guess I had underestimated the enthusiasm of my family, friends and blog readers! I particularly suspect I have my mom to thank. She has  a lot of colleagues, you know…

So, all is fantastic on the acting front, I’m really super happy whenever on set. It’s whenever I am off-set (some call it real life) that things are, well, messy…

The main issue is that I don’t have a house, nor an income. I kind of rotate between my boyfriend’s place, my parent’s house en my friends’ places. So of course I am super grateful that I have places to stay (thank you friends!) but the living-out-of-a-suitcase thing  gets quite old after a month. My stuff is all over the planet. Some clothes in Heerhugowaard (small town in Holland), some beauty products in Amsterdam, furniture at a farm house I can’t even remember the name of the place of… I even have a lot of stuff still back in Los Angeles. Like my precious white owl statues, how I miss thee.

So everything is just a bit messy, especially the future. Will I return to Los Angeles or not? Should I go look for a house and a job here? I actually did find an amazing house, but generally people need money to pay rent and since I hadn’t found a job yet…

I have nothing to complain about, really, there are of course people who have it much worse, but a place to call home would be welcome. These days I only have privacy when I am on the toilet. Well, at least it’s the best place to think, according to some. Me, I function best amidst pink furniture and decorative clutter.

But then, I suppose this is the life of an actress, never knowing what’s next. And I think this might also be the right time to make a mess and be undecided about the future. Because when you’re nearing those scary mid twenties, everything starts to change. My dear friends are slowly moving out of Amsterdam and in with their boyfriends, one by one. Everyone will graduate soon and really become what they call an adult; a person with a full-time job, a “partner” instead of a boyfriend, and an own house. We will not all be students anymore, dining together weekly, getting new jobs every 6 months, messing around…

And that’s fine, it’s part of life. But what better time to make a life changing decision than when everyone else is doing the same? I’m sure that in a few months, everything will be completely different again. I may have heard from an LA agent by then about O1 sponsoring, I may have a new acting job here in the Netherlands or I may have nothing to do here and go back to LA without any reassurance of an agent…

At least, when it’s messy, I feel alive.

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Filed under Amsterdam

3 responses to “Gypsy on TV

  1. Ben

    As always, your blogs are worth reading 🙂
    Amazing that you’ve found work as an actress, paying work at that! You now are the object of jealous attention of all the girls/guys who are at the point you were two months ago 😛
    Despite that, you keep doing your thing, and it’s clearly working for you. I hear what you’re saying about not having a home, and of course that blows, but you were prepared to walk this road knowing it might cost you your life, having to move around sure beats dying :P.
    Keep in mind that the true challenge is always what you bring to the set, to the production, to the story, and remaining neutral within yourself to the circumstances that exist outside of the job.

    You are a very talented actress, and an even more talented human being, so as long as you remember to express yourself clearly, dear to look at your own emotions and acknowledge them, then you’ll do just great in acting and in life. Wish you all the best still, and please keep the blogs coming ^^. Gypsy on TV, that’s a clever title too 😛
    LA is waiting for you, don’t stress it, enjoy the moment. Live in the moment.

    – Ben

  2. iago

    Is the show not paying you anything?

    Well, an acting career is not a sprint, it’s a marathon..
    You’re doing well in my opinion!

  3. Anna

    that is the feeling that i miss now so bad! Amazing thing were happening and i was so damn lucky when i had nothing but hopes, dreams and strong faith! it’s like a wave that can bring you higher at one moment and then you’ll remember it all your life. I’m 26 now and switched my life from good but boring jod in reputed international company, my own appartment to acting with no work and definite place to live. And i did it to feel alive again and not to waste myself cuz every happy and real day of your life is worth it!

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